January 7th at 2:45am my alarm went off. It was race day. The 6 months of preparation and training I had put in was all for this moment.
Unfortunately, I wasn’t at 100%.
Marathon training all leads up to one week where volume and intensity “peaks” and this is rightfully named “peak week.” This happens a few weeks out from the race and then mileage and intensity comes down as your body recovers and gets ready for race day.
Well during peak week I pushed myself and ended up with some overuse injuries after the 20 mile long run (the longest run I had ever done). Nothing serious, but enough for me to take the next weekend off from running to make sure my body was able to recover. At the time of making that decision, I still had a week of training ahead and then race week to get some miles in before the run and make sure I was ready to go.
Monday was Christmas so no run for me but Tuesday I got back to it. The plan had mostly worked! Minor pain but a lot better. Wednesday’s run however felt brutal. My lungs had nothing to give and just felt heavy. That afternoon I figured out why.
It felt like I had a bad cold going to bed Wednesday. Thursday it felt like a really bad cold. Friday morning I decided to go to the doctor and tested positive for the Flu less than 10 days out from the race. Not ideal.
By Monday I felt better. Went for a run/walk for 2 miles but was nowhere close to having my lungs back yet.
Tuesday I went out with the same plan. 2 miles down and a little improvement on the pace and feeling.
No run on Wednesday.
Thursday 2 miles pushing myself to prove to myself that I can still run and no repercussions so we will call it 90% back.
Friday comes and we travel to Disney, which is where I would be attempting to run 26.2 miles in just a few days.
Got a 2 mile shakeout run to keep my legs moving on Saturday and the humidity was real but I felt ready. Nervously ready.
Sunday morning I caught a 3:15am shuttle to Epcot, where the race started. Got some carbs and electrolytes in as I waited, walked through security, checked my bag in to pick up at the finish line, and then went to the starting corral I was assigned at about 4:10am.
Then I waited. The race started at 5 so I knew I had a little bit until it was our turn to go.
At about 5:10am I crossed the starting line as ready as I could be.
First few miles were adrenaline filled and then around mile 4 I really settled in and did a mental inventory of how I felt. Everything was good.
The first 15 miles or so were relatively uneventful. A few random pains that felt like they might turn to cramps came up but luckily all went away and I was feeling good. I was going slow, but feeling good.
Mile 15-20 was a slow progression of discomfort but nothing I hadn’t felt before. Just a typical long run.
This is where the mind starts to creep in.
“Dang, I already feel like this and I still have 10 miles to run?”
“Okay, I have only ran past this point once in my life.”
“How am I supposed to go for another 6.2? My body isn’t ready for this. I haven’t done this before.”
Mile 21 is when the discomfort really ramped up. Around this point is when I hit what I had always heard about but never experienced, the wall. Good name for it by the way as it feels like you are trying to run through a wall that is getting progressively harder and harder to knock over.
The best way to describe what I was feeling to someone who hasn’t felt it before is like the entire back of my legs were in an almost cramp like pain every step I took and then my quads felt like I was trying to run through water or mud when lifting my legs up.
Mentally this was brutal. It kicked in during a stretch of race that was just on a road. No distractions. Nothing but me, my thoughts, and a few hundred people that looked like they felt no pain around me. Very discouraging. My pace tanked as I just tried whatever I could to keep moving.
The advice that got me through was the same advice that had gotten me through many long runs before. Focus on the mile you’re in.
Thinking in terms of I have 5 more miles of this felt overwhelming and near impossible whereas thinking in terms of I have just .6 miles till I tick another one off, felt very doable.
This repeating thought got me a little past mile 24 which is when I broke through.
Suddenly my body went basically numb. I felt tired and my legs still felt heavy, but the pain was gone.
I pushed my pace as much as I could mainly because I was scared of what it would feel like if the pain came back.
The miles ticked on and next thing I knew I turned the corner and saw the finish line.
There it was. The culmination of 6 months of dedication to this goal was right in front of me.
As I crossed the finish line and saw my family cheering me on, I couldn’t help but get emotional. Not because of the moment, but because of everything leading up to the moment. I have talked about it before but this was almost a flashback moment to me where I could feel how much my life had been changed through running.
Crossing that finish lines was one of the best feelings of my life.
So what did the race teach me?
First off it showed me that we are capable of much more than we think. I wanted to stop at mile 20. My mind told me I couldn’t go 6.2 more. My mind told me I was going to get hurt and cramp up. It wasn’t true. A few years ago, I literally couldn’t run two miles without pain and a borderline asthma attack. I’m not anything special athletically. I just committed to a goal of running a 5k. Then a 10k. Then a half marathon. Then all the sudden a few years later there I was at the finish line of a marathon. A week and a half later, that still seems crazy. It makes me wonder how much farther can I go? My wife might kill me if I try to find the answer to that one though!
Second, it showed me the importance of having grace with yourself. My initial goal for this marathon was to be close to 4 hours. During good training weeks I even thought maybe sub 4 hours was possible. My finish time? 4 hours and 48 minutes. I am proud of that time. Having a goal time is important during training as it can help you push yourself, but that is what a goal is for. To help you push yourself. Goals are great but they can also have a negative impact on us when we miss them. Having grace with ourselves is important because at the end of the day the effort is what matters. I gave my everything that day. I genuinely think the only way I could have ran any faster is if I peed my pants instead of taking a few porta potty breaks. But then I would have been soaked in urine with a time of 4 hours and 46 minutes. Not worth it. I gave my all.
In running they talk about having an A goal, B goal, and C goal for a race. When I first heard this I thought it was dumb because if you miss your main goal you are a failure right? Why setup a safety net? It seemed weak. This race and training block helped me better understand that it’s not. You aren’t always at 100% on race day. Life happens. The only thing you can control is to consistently show up and give your all. If you do that, you win. My A goal was a 4 hour marathon. My B goal was a 10 minute pace. My C goal was just to finish no matter what it took. Winning for me was achieving my C goal because that was all I could give that day.
Finally, it showed me the power of your thoughts. Our minds have so much more control over us than we think. The thoughts we have about ourselves can literally transform us into who we think that we are whether it is true or not. This can be great or it can be detrimental. Thinking of the race as 26.2 miles and then 20 miles more, and then 15 miles to go, and then 10…. would have drained me. That feels so overwhelming. Thinking of it as just another 2 mile run, and then another once I am done with that, and then another…. was manageable.
This is so true in life as well. Things can feel so overwhelming when we look at the big picture. Our goals can terrify us and many times should terrify us. Just break it down. What is the first thing that you can do? Good. Now what’s next? Keep doing that and eventually you will look up and see the finish line is right there somehow.
I don’t know what is next for my running journey.
I do know that I will never forget everything that I have learned up to and through this race. God has used running to teach me so much about myself and about Him.
With how crazy life can be, I really want to encourage you to lace up the shoes and go for a run. No headphones. Just you and your thoughts.
I have found this time extremely valuable as it has allowed me to meditate on God’s word, pray about what is going on in life, think through situations at work, rejoice over the triumphs of the week, reflect on hard times in my life, and so much more.
Start small and show up over and over and over again. You never know where you might end up.